Saturday, November 07, 2009

This is pretty funny...

This is from:

GRAMMER MADE EASY

or

HOW TO RITE RITE

  1. Don't abbrev.
  2. Check to see if you any words out.
  3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct.
  4. About sentence fragments.
  5. When dangling, don't use participles.
  6. Don't use no double negatives.
  7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
  8. Just between you and I, case is important.
  9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
  10. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
  11. A preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
  12. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary.
  13. Its important to use apostrophe's right.
  14. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive.
  15. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object.
  16. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should begin with a capital and end with a period
  17. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase.
  18. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
  19. Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into our language.
  20. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
  21. Avoid unnecessary redundancy.
  22. A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
  23. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it.
  24. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with.
  25. Avoid clichis like the plague; they're old hat; seek viable alternatives.
  26. Comparisons are as bad as clichis.
  27. Do not use a foreign term when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
  28. If you must use a foreign term, it is de rigor to spell it correctly.
  29. Avoid colloquial stuff.
  30. It behooves the writer to avoid archiac expressions.
  31. Do not use hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
  32. Mixed metaphors are a pain in the ass and ought to be thrown out the window.
  33. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
  34. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
  35. Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.
  36. Don't use tautological, repetitive, or redundant statements.
  37. Don't use tautological, repetitive, or redundant statements.
  38. Puns are for children, not for readers who are groan.
  39. The Passive Voice shouldn't be used.
  40. Proofread carefully to see if you have any words out
  41. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
  42. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
  43. Always avoid any alliteration, albeit agreeable.
  44. Contractions aren't necessary.
  45. Who needs rhetorical questions?
  46. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  47. Do not put statements in the negative form.
  48. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
  49. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  50. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  51. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
  52. Be more or less specific.
  53. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  54. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  55. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
  56. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  57. Understatement is always best.
  58. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  59. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  60. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  61. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
  62. Remember to finish what you sta

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Six-Word Memoirs

In one of the e-newsletters I get on teaching, I saw this really cool writing assignment. The idea is to write a memoir in only six words. It's kind of like a really cool new form of haiku. Here is just one link to you tube videos of various groups of students across the country who have tried this activity. I started this activity with my writing students yesterday, and with only 5 or 10 minutes, some students came up with brilliant memoirs! Here is mine (but will probably write a couple of others):

Blonde doesn't begin to describe me.

So, you all should definitely try it! Leave a comment with your six-word memoir.