Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April Fool's Day

Okay, well, here's the first draft. Any suggestions for edits?

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An April Fool's Day Limerick

On the first day of April each year,
I always get shivers of fear.
Will I get worms in my lunch?
Or flies in my punch?
Today's a good day to disappear OR It's best to be absent--that's clear!
***

I don't like that last line (which is why I have two options, neither of which I like). So I reversed the whole thing. I'm still not sure if it works, but I think the last line is better.
What do you think of option B?

***
An April Fool's Day Limerick

Some find this day filled with cheer,
but I find myself shivering in fear.
Will I get worms in my lunch?
Or flies in my punch?
It's the scariest day of the year!

3 comments:

  1. Hmmm, I like parts of each limerick & am thinking on those...meanwhile, I sent you a message through your author site! Jane in St Louis

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  2. Julie, what do you think about the following? I kept your theme & tightened the rhythm in the middle & added a different last line--

    On the first day of April each year
    I always get shivers of fear.
    What? Worms in my lunch?!
    Yuk! Flies in my punch?!
    Perhaps I should just disappear.

    I love limericks and when I was teaching, had my students do a LOT of creative writing including limericks. They are SO FUN!

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  3. Love it, Jane! Thank you so much for your suggestions. You've got a great ear for rhythm and you've added some really fun touches. Awesome! Revising is always hard, but ALWAYS pays off--especially with people making super suggestions. Thanks!

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